Do You Remember Why I Called You?

Starting my third year (and final - woo hoo!) of my Master of Divinity degree, I have heard about calling... a lot. Today I heard yet another sermon on calling from Rev. Dr. Mark Fowler of Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary. It really was a fantastic sermon but after three years in seminary, the word “call” almost becomes cliché when it is constantly brought up in sermons during chapel, when we dissect and analyze it during VFCL, and over and over again you get asked the “tell your call story.”

Don’t get me wrong, our call stories are incredibly important and at the church where I am doing my field education this year, we’re hoping to spend a lot of time looking at the intersection of vocation and faith through our preaching, small groups, and other areas within the life of the church. But as a person in ministry, especially as we trudge through the ordination process in our respective traditions, calling can be a huge pain.

Calling can be exhausting, frustrating, sometimes even disappointing. It often seems to go from this brilliant flash of light illuminating the path before us to a dark rain cloud making us wet and cold but always reminding us that it is there. Sometimes the longer it takes to fulfill that call (i.e. the longer it takes you to get ordained) the more annoying and frustrating calling can be… And God help you if you’re calling isn’t crystal clear and you see not one path in front of you, but many.

So back to chapel and the sermon. Dr. Fowler truly did preach a fantastic, powerful sermon on calling. Yet, for the first half of the sermon, all I could keep thinking in my head was, “Yes, I know I’m called. I’ve done the whole ‘Here, I am. Send me,’ business. God, could you tell me something I don’t know?”

You would think I would have learned by now never to ask questions/make demands of God…

All I know is that the next thing that popped into my mind was, “Do you remember why I called you?”

Clearly, God takes after my professors who love to answer questions with questions (or maybe vice versa?).

And so I sat there, in the Chapel of the Unnamed Faithful, with the sun shining through the stained glass windows, surrounded by friends and fellow seminarians, a very impassioned sermon going on, and it was like everything faded away in that question.

Do you remember why I called you? 

Seminary has made me talk for so long about “what” I am called to or “when” I was called or “how” I was called but I don’t remember ever being asked “why,” why was I called. Why was I called at this time in my life? Why was I called to this thing or that thing? Why me?

Sure, we’ve talked about gifts and graces for ministry but I never found that those “spiritual gift inventories” to really be the “why” of calling – more of a justification for choosing to follow a calling.

Do you remember why I called you? 

As that question kept playing over and over in my head, I went back to all those moments where I felt called. The points of time in my life that I’ve written about in so many papers, told so many times to peers, professors, and mentors. I’ve talked about my love of the sacraments but God didn’t call me because I love the sacraments. I’ve talked about my gifts I've been told I have for preaching and teaching, but God didn’t call me because I can preach a good sermon and I can teach. Because really, those are things that have grown over time as I’ve 1) learned more about the sacraments and theology of the sacraments and 2) done more preaching and teaching to develop those skills.

It was during the pastoral prayer before communion that I remembered why. My calling, or at least that first nudge in the direction that would eventually lead me to this time and place in my life, came way back in high school, somewhere in the freshman year era. It was shortly after I had been asked to give my “testimony” at youth group. I didn’t know theology (or at least didn’t have the big words to articulate it), I barely knew the Bible, and I had only been actively attending church for less than a year. The only thing I had was a story of a truly hard-knock life and a story of how my life was better with God in it. From a preaching standpoint – it was a terrible sermon from the shaky, nervous delivery to zero exegesis – but those stories were why I was called.

 Do you remember why I called you? 

I was called because I had a story and more importantly, I had a story to share. A story of a girl who, to quote Rihanna (and this will never happen again), “found love in a hopeless place.” A story of a girl who discovered the transformative love of God for her and for all people and vowed to make sure everyone knew they were loved, both by her and by God. I was called because somehow God saw that despite having gone down a rocky road time and time again, I still had the capacity to love and that love for others and the love that I have experienced from God has continued to drive me ever since. That love helped me to slowly overcome my fear of public speaking so that I can give half-way decent sermons. That love drove me to Oklahoma City University for a BA in Religion, drove me to Garrett-Evangelical for an MDiv, and drives me to still pursue ordination. And that love has burned a story into my heart that, after all this academic study of the Bible, church history, church leadership, pastoral care, and years of deconstructing and reconstructing my theology, still rings true and I still believe must be told.

Do you remember why I called you? 

To be honest, I had forgotten. I had forgotten that, to be a bit cliché again, Jesus loves me, this I know. I had forgotten that story of love that set me on this path in the first place. I had forgotten why God would call an imperfect, broken misfit like me. God called me because God saw an imperfect, broken misfit who loved people, loved God, knew that God loved her, and had a fire inside her soul driving her to want others to know they were also loved because the world is full of imperfect, broken misfits who need to hear that message, who need to be not only told they are loved but shown they are loved.

Do you remember why God called you?

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Tasha Sargent is a third year Master of Divinity student at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary.

Amy Wills Visits Garrett-Evangelical.

It was windy and it was cold during my time in Evanston, Illinois but the feeling I got inside my heart was anything but cold. With a gorgeous campus, a thoughtful, kindhearted staff, and a mission to know God and to help others know God, I was able to get an extensive look into Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary.

I want to first talk about the lead-up to getting there. I remember meeting Reverend Becky Eberhart, Director of Admissions, during my time at Exploration 2011 and seeing how warm and friendly she and the rest of the staff was. As the months have continued on, I've received letters (which in the Seminary world is extremely common) and emails (also a frequent occurrence) both of which helped keep me up to date about the happenings around Garrett but also about deadlines and such.

Note: So far, all of the seminaries have done this and I have found it so helpful. Yes, even amidst all the other emails I get on a daily basis. I encourage you to let the schools keep you on their mailing lists. It allows you to see what each school values and supports. After all that's what they're there for...to teach you!

The thing I loved most about Garrett before I visited, was that I received not one, not two, but three personal phone calls. Now these weren't just logistical, "let's get you to our school" phone calls. Instead, these were calls that I would receive from someone like a friend that I hadn't talk to in a while; someone who was sincerely interested in my life, my call and so they took 10-20 minutes to talk with me. I really appreciated this.

We were so eager to get to Chicago. (When I say "we," I mean me and my friend Katie. She was lovely enough to accompany me on this trip even though she has followed her own call that will take her to Asbury Seminary in the Fall. Go Katie!)

We ended up getting into town about 4-5 hours earlier than we had planned...what can I say? The coffee must have worked particularly well that morning! Luckily that wasn't a problem and actually turned out to be perfect timing because the 5th Annual Student Theological Conference was going on that day! This event was co-founded by Jason Gill who serves as Garrett's awesome Assistant Director of Admissions (and knowledgeable campus tour guide!). Because of his work, both in the office and with the current student body, we were able to learn about this year's conference theme, "Church & State"- a tricky topic for anyone to openly talk about, let alone a seminary. With eloquence, grace, and tact, Marci A. Hamilton was able to give us an insight into the world of government and church. I am so grateful for that new information.

Speaking of new information, Reverend Karla Kincannon spent part of our morning talking about all of the excellent Field Education and Spiritual Formation opportunities that Garrett has to provide. Every seminarian in the M.Div. program participates in this. During your first year you will deal with the entirety of your calling and what that looks like for your ministry.  Rev. Kincannon gave us an excellent quote that I hope helps you when you think about where and what you are called to do:

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.” ― Frederick Buechner

Both the Field Ed. program and the spiritual formation class and the practices it teachers you, is for you to gain a deep clarity about what God has called you to do, about who He's called you to be. We were reminded of the Hebrew people, about how their calls weren't always crystal clear, that there were times when things were uncertain and vague. Garrett believes in the importance of nurturing our relationship with God and the reflection of the countless possibilities that that relationship opens you up to. That is the purpose these academic and spiritual courses seek to do: remind us and bring us back to where we're meant to be.
 

As with the other schools, we attended a class. Though there were no current students in the class with us, that didn't stop people in the group from pulling out their paper and taking copious notes- or in my case, taking notes for this blog post. Dr. Jim Papandrea distracted me however, from doing my task! With his humor, his knowledge and his evident passion for teaching, he captivated all of our attention with information on the formation of the Christian Bible (not always an easy job I'd imagine). He encouraged asking questions during the lecture, not just after which eased my mind, especially at such an academically profound school. We were told that Garrett is home to one of, if not THE most expansive and helpful libraries of all of the seminaries, which I kind of believe since as a student at the seminary you have full access to the Northwestern libraries, too!

We met Dean Reverend Cynthia Wilson and learned all about what it's like to be a student at Garrett. The students of the school are probably some of the most diverse I've seen so far and because of this, there are several opportunities to get involved with different groups that they have established such as a women's center, centers for Latinos, Black Seminarians, Asian Americans, and couples. This was also the first school that has mentioned having a group for LGBTQ members. As a Garrett student you have the option of three different kinds of worship services throughout the week and a weekly "community lunch" with your fellow classmates and staff.

Next stop was the Chapel of the Unnamed Faithful. Time of worship during these visits have consistently been my favorite part of each school. That time is always such a critical experience to me personally because each service is uniquely it's own. It is it's own representation of God and God's presence in that school. The chapel itself was exquisite. High vaulted ceilings for perfected acoustics, stained glass for eye candy, and chairs gathered together to create community. On the campus tour that Mr. Gill led us on, he spoke of the unique stories the colorful glass tells about the Old and New Testaments; about the influential people that have been forever "set in stone" in the place.

 

To accompany the the beautiful scenery was beautiful music played by a small but mighty crew of three students. They didn't know it, but they played all of my favorites: Nothing But the Blood of Jesus, Hosanna, Come Thou Fount. I had goosebumps and chills during the entire service. The sermon was given by a current Masters of Divinity student who blew it out of the water! And the gift of communion, of sharing it with other people on their own separate journeys was something that in that moment, united us.

Afterwards we were able to sit down with students at lunch that shared their experiences with us and opened the floor to any and all questions that we had. This time along with the dinner at The Celtic Knot (students only!) was an excellent time to relax and really get the inside scoop about life as a student. Which helps soften the anxiety-ridden time at least for me when the financial aid and housing parts come along. But take heart, despite the cost of higher education, the staff in the admissions office has plenty of ways to make it possible for you to fulfill your call. Check out Dollars for Scholars and don't ever be afraid to go to your local conference. Remember when I talked about gifts?

We concluded our day with a tour of the Northwestern campus. Like I've said, it is just absolutely breathtaking. From the Gothic towers to the Shakespeare Garden to the shores of Lake Michigan, God is present in that place and as students, you are encouraged to enjoy it!

Evanston is this town that is a little urban, a little hipster, a little classic, a little old fashion. It's a little bit of everything and I find it appropriate that that it is home to Garrett which so reflects that same kind of diversity. One of the women who was visiting that day brought her young teenage son with her. Simeon (I'm pretty sure that's his name- I know it was one of the 12 awesome names of the sons of Jacob) didn't say much. He stuck to his drawings and was politely quiet during our order of events. But when it came time for questions, Simeon's hand shot up in the air with the fervor of curiosity and he ended up asking more questions than the group of 15 or so of us combined. I was in awe of this kids inquisitive mind and his excitement for Garrett. With his question asking and his humble animation, I am thankful for Simeon. He fits right in at Garrett.

Garrett is a place for those thirsty for academic and spiritual knowledge to be filled.

It's a place to be challenged and to grow.

It's a place to rejoice in diversity while learning from it.

Garrett is a wonderful place.